Moving On
by booshcat1
Summary: Well, I'm really bad at summaries, but I wanted to write a Matlingsworth one-shot, and changed up the character's personalities a bit to go with my story. 3


**Okay, so I really wanted to write a Matlingsworth story, so why not make it a long-ish one-shot? :P **

**Some things to list here;**

**This takes place a year after Cam's death, it leaves off at the concert that took place in Summertime, and I go on from there. I know this is ****_not_**** portraying Miles (or Tristan) to their exact characters, but I really wanted to write a cute Matlingsworth story, so I changed up their personalities a bit.**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Degrassi.**

**I really hope you guys like it. xoxo**

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"Oh, so she's _that_ kind of girl?" Zoe asked, with a tint of sass in her voice. The words replayed over and over in Maya's head as she followed the group around backstage.  
"Oh, she _SO_ is!" She heard Tristan's voice, and her mind raced. Last year. Last year she was so happy. She was dating the love of her life, and he left her. He left her alone with no explanation. Campbell Saunders left the love of his life, and Maya aches to know why. To hear his voice one more time. To feel his hand intertwined in hers. Just one more time.

"Last year she had _two_ guys fighting over her!" Tristan's voice echoed in her mind. She looked up, as she felt Miles' eyes on her. "What happened?" Maya lost all ability to comprehend what was happening. She stood there like a lost puppy, tears fighting to spill down her face. Tristan's voice interrupted her thoughts, once again. "Haven't you heard of Campbell Saunders? He com-"

"Tristan!" Was all Maya could spill out as she ran the opposite way, feeling everyone's eyes burning into her back. She needed to leave. Get out. Go anywhere but here. _Did Tristan really care more about impressing Zoe and that dumb guy than my feelings? He knows how I feel about the whole situation._ Maya thought to herself, tears freely falling.

She found herself back in the alley she was at just 10 minutes before. She sat down on the steps, and cried. _Cam left me. Everyone leaves me. Do I even have any real friends left? Not ones who would pull a stunt Tristan did moments before? I thought I could trust him. He knows how hard this has been on me. My first and only boyfriend broke up with me by killing himself._ "It's over." The text was always in the back of her mind. He was always on her mind. He would always be on her mind.

"…Maya?" A voice called out down the alleyway. She looked up, and saw Miles. One of the last people she wanted to see.

"Miles, just.. just don't. Leave," She mumbled, her hands cupped over her face.

He didn't budge. "Tristan is beating himself up over what he said, he's really sorry- He went to chase after you, but honestly I thought you'd seen enough of him tonight." Miles said, with a slight grin.

Maya shook her head. "I just want to be alone. You don't understand- you.. you wouldn't." She said, her voice cracking.

Miles stood in front of Maya. "Maya, I'm not leaving. You can't just.. stay here."

Maya looked up, anger sparking in her out of nowhere. "Why not? I haven't been happy in so long. He.. he left me. He killed himself. He had such a bright future and I wish I could've helped him... but, he just... gave up. On himself, on the NHL, on me. He was my first and only boyfriend Miles, the only guy I've ever loved. I feel like I'm never going to be happy again. He's everywhere. He should be going to Paris with me in a few days. We should be spending the summer together. He should be here. But he's not. I'm alone breaking down to someone I hardly even know. I can't stay here? Fine. I'll go." She said, tears steadily flowing down her cheeks as she stood up and walked past Miles.

She could hear him calling her name, she could even hear Tristan calling after her. But she kept walking, it was a long way home and she couldn't face either of them. Not now, maybe not ever. Her eyes were so cloudy from tears, she didn't see the incline of the sidewalk, and she tripped, causing one of her heels to break. "Freaking fantastic. This is exactly what I need." She hissed to herself, plopping down on the edge of the street.

"I don't care anymore. I'm done. I thought I was getting better without Cam but I'm worse than I ever was." She muttered, her head in her lap. "Screw curfew. Screw Paris. I'm already late, it's not like I would be able to go anymore anyways."

Maya heard footsteps behind her and sighed. _I don't want to talk._

Tristan sighed. "Maya, I'm really sorry. I really am. I got caught up in trying to impress Zoe and, I just let it slip."

Maya turned around and stood up, her broken heel still on the street. Her anger flared a bit more when she saw Miles was still there. _Why is he trying so hard.. I'm nothing but a huge problem._ "You know what, Tris? YOU told me not to ditch you, and that we would stick together. And you know what? You left me alone outside and went into the concert with Zoe. You told strangers that my boyfriend committed suicide. I'm honestly not sure you really mean that apology." She said, shaking her head. "And I need to go. I have no money, and I'm already late for curfew. Bye-bye Paris." She said, turning around to keep walking, taking uneven steps.

Maya felt a hand grab her arm. "Tristan. I'm not in the mood. Just leave me alone."

"Maya." Still facing the other way, Maya rolled her eyes. _Of course it would be Miles. Why would Tristan go after me? He knows what I said was true._

Biting her lip, Maya turned around, once again. "Miles, I honestly don't understand why you're making such an effort. You hardly know me. I wanted to be known as Maya Matlin, not girlfriend of Campbell Saunders, the NHL hopeful who killed himself. That's all I've been known as for the longest time. And I'm sick of it. So please, just don't."

Miles sighed with a defeated look on his face. "Maya, look.. I know what you've been through is tough. But you can't just push everyone away." His tone softened. "I'm not Cam. No one is Cam and no one can replace Cam. But we both know he would want you to be happy, and not tearing yourself up like this. People make mistakes, Maya. Just some more permanent than others." He extended his arms for a hug, and Maya hesitated a bit before collapsing into them.

She sobbed on his shoulder, before looking up. "Sorry, I'm probably destroying your shirt." She said, with a low laugh.  
Miles grinned and shook his head. "Nah, don't worry about it." He said, smiling a bit.

He sighed quietly, and looked at his watch. "I think we should be getting a taxi home, your family is probably starting to worry, Maya, it's like, almost an hour after your curfew."  
Maya scoffed. "Like they even care. But yeah, I guess."

_~ Maya dropped off, Tristan dropped off, Miles went home ~_

Maya unlocked the front door, and quietly snuck in. She held her breath and she passed the doorway to the living room, looking in. Her mother was asleep. _Pfff. Told you they wouldn't care. They've never cared enough._

Maya woke up with crazy hair and raccoon eyes. She sighed and cleaned herself up, realizing she had Miles' jacket. He must've gave it to her or something last night. She smiled to herself, missing Cam's red and black Ice Hounds jacket he'd always give to her to wear when she was cold. She threw the jacket on her chair, and a note fell out. It had a phone number, an address, signed "-MH"

Maya shook her head and grinned a bit.

_I guess I need to return it._ She thought to herself, groggily getting ready for the day. It was a Saturday, and as far as she was concerned her parents thought she was home on time, and Maya planned to keep it that way. She went down to the kitchen and ate most of an apple before heading to Miles' house to return the jacket.

When she got to his house, it was much bigger than she expected. Wow. Maya knocked on what she presumed was the front door, and a man in a suit and tie opened it. "Can I help you?" He said with his head tilted to the side, although he was flashing a friendly grin.  
Maya nodded. "Um, yeah, is Miles here?" She asked, a bit intimidated by the man.  
"He's probably up in his room. Follow me." He said, motioning for her to come inside, and shutting the door behind her before leading her around the huge mansion. Miles' father knocked on his door, but opened it anyways.  
Miles had an annoyed look on his face, and was about to shout something at his father, but his expression softened when he saw Maya. "This girl was looking for you." He said, abruptly turning around and leaving. Maya watched him walk away with a confused look, before turning back to Miles.

Miles cocked his head to the side, and grinned a bit. "So what brings you here, Matlin?" He says, waving his arms around his room.  
She pulled the jacket out of her bag and extended it in her hand. "I, uh, wanted to return this to you.. thanks." She said, a small smile on her lips. He nodded and took it back, looking a bit disappointed.

"Sooo," Miles said, trying to start conversation. "Got any plans for today?"

Maya laughed. "If moping around about my life and packing for Paris counts, then yes."

Miles grinned. "Hey now, 'moping' and 'paris' do not belong in the same sentence." He said, winking. "Pfffff, sorry." Maya said, chuckling.

"Anyways, I was going to spend the day at on one of my family's yahts… You know, before I spend the rest of the summer in Paris.." He said, flashing a grin.

Maya's jaw dropped. "Wait, you're coming to Paris too? This will be awesome!" She said, excitement in her voice. "And yeah, I'd love to go."

"Well, I'm pretty sure my driver is already waiting outside. You ready?" He asked. Maya nodded her head, "Yup!"

The car had a radio system in the back, so Miles and Maya had control of it. When it turned on, a familiar song came on. "_I believe in a thing called love_

_Just listen to the rhythm of my heart_  
_There's a chance we could make it now_  
_We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down_  
_I believe in a thing called love_  
_Ooh!_"

Maya felt her heart drop, right then and there. She sat back, breathing deeply. _You can't cry here Matlin. You refuse to cry. You don't deserve to cry._

"…Maya? What's wrong?" Miles asked, a hint of worry and or confusion in his voice, Maya couldn't tell.

She tried to speak, but couldn't. Finally, words came out. "This, this song.. Cam and I sang karaoke to it… That was the best night, it was all perfect…." Maya said, drifting off. _Miles doesn't need to hear this. He can't do anything, he shouldn't have to._ She thought, it wasn't fair to keep dumping my baggage on him. She looked up, laughed and shook her head. "God. I'm so screwed up. I can't go anywhere without having a breakdown. It's been a freaking year. When will I understand breaking down about it all everywhere I go won't make anything better. Ever." She said, now looking down at her palms.

Miles had no idea what to say. He wasn't good with this stuff. He leaned over and hugged her. Still holding her, he said "It'll be okay, I promise."

Maya shook her head. "I wish I could believe you."

"Stop doubting yourself. Stop denying yourself happiness. Stop trying to think of ways to make his suicide your fault. You did nothing. I'm sure, if anything, you kept him alive longer. If he didn't have you, he probably would've been worse. So stop blaming yourself. Cam wouldn't want that. And... I don't either." Miles admitted, looking at her, as the driver slowed to a stop. Maya thought about what he said, she knew it had some truth to it.

"Mr. Hollingsworth, we're here!" The driver called, hopping out of the car to open their doors.

Maya & Miles got out of the car. "Now let's just enjoy the day. No sadness." Miles added, smiling at Maya.

"I can live with that," She replied, smiling back.

On the yaht, Miles and Maya laid on lounge chairs enjoying the sea-breeze.

"I love being out on the ocean. I hardly have a chance to go, though." Maya said, squinting up at the sun.

"Well, we can always change that." Miles said, looking over at Maya. Her eyes met his, and they looked at each other, for what felt like forever. Maya's mind raced. _What do I do? Lean in to kiss him? Let him kiss me? Turn away? _

Miles leaned in closer to her, and Maya still wasn't sure what she wanted to do, but kissed him anyways. It felt, nice, to be cared about again.

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**annddd that's the end! I really hope you guys like it, I wasn't originally writing this to post it publicly, but eh, why not? I'd love to know what you guys think.. :) I'd love critiques to improve my writing as well! **


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